Effing Feline has nightmares

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, the Most Literary Cat in the Entire Universe (c), am presenting another selection from the latest WIP by my pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine.

Dusty Johnson lives and works at an underground research facility run by alien Kwadrans. One night she awakens to find a stranger in her bedroom.

“Who are you?” Dusty asked the person standing at the foot of her bed, “and what…what do you want from me?”

The silhouette didn’t answer, didn’t budge, didn’t move a single muscle.  Shivering with dread, she strained to see details. The only light came from the open door, and it cast the intruder’s face in shadow. He—oh God, it was definitely a he—smelled like lilacs.

As though on wheels, the shadow glided back; then it stopped and waited, motionless, ominous.  Dusty whirled to turn on her bedside lamp, yanked the sheet up to her neck, and blinked furiously, trying to will her pupils to contract.

It looked exactly like her brother, Juan…but it couldn’t be.

Juan was dead.

Effing Feline again. This snippet reminds me of the time I woke from a nap to find a horrible monster sleeping in the same room with me. It was a DOG!!!  I had nightmares for weeks! Okay, not weeks, but minutes, for certain.

Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.

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40 comments

  1. chellecordero · · Reply

    Oh my, could she be bringing Lilacs to mark Juan’s grave? Ooh, this gave me the shivers.

    1. Good. It’s supposed to.

  2. Very nice Ed! I love how you engaged the senses. This had better be Juan, or she is in much more trouble that a receiving a ghost visitor from her brother!

    1. Yep, she’s in trouble…although the full extent of the trouble won’t become apparent for a while.

  3. Interesting. Of course, we’re all going to wonder, is it really Juan?

    1. I ain’t sayin’!

  4. nancygideon · · Reply

    Oooooh! Awesome hook! Very visual scene. Love it!

  5. Eeks! It is creepy and mysterious and I am dying to find out what happens next! Enjoyed reading the snippet.

    1. And it’s science fiction, not horror or paranormal, so that changes the range of possible outcomes.

  6. Spooky and very engaging! It sounds like you had fun writing this, Ed, and that’s always a good thing. You better pick up right from here next week 😉
    ~Marcia

    1. This is the twist that occurred to me after my outline was done … and it totally changed the end of the story.

  7. Strange figures appearing in the middle of the night in one’s bedroom are seldom harbingers of good tidings. If it’s her brother I hope to goodness he’s not come back from beyond the grave. Very suspenseful snippet!

    1. Kind of a Scrooge and the three ghosts thing?

  8. Ed, the same darn thing happens to me from time to time. My first husband returns and he’s been gone a long time. Okay, let’s turn the page and see what happens next. Very cool!

    1. Wow. I’m more interested in your story than mine, Charmaine!

  9. Lilacs! I can’t decided if that would make the mysterious, possibly dead person standing by my bed more or less creepy.

    1. I wasn’t thinking so much of creepy as vivid. And I like the smell of lilacs. Reminds me of my grandmother’s place.

  10. Lilacs – love the smell
    dead people in the same room – don’t love that so much.
    Great snippet.

    1. I figure the smell of lilacs is better than the smell of dead people.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Aurora.

  11. Wow, this snippet was amazing in various ways – I’m really intrigued by who or what the intruder may be and why the scent of lilacs!

    1. Why lilacs? As I said above, lilacs remind me of my grandmother’s place. But in the context of the story, yes, there is a reason for the lilacs.

  12. Really great scene. I hope it is her brother, assuming her brother wasn’t an ax-murderer or something.

    1. No, just a guy who disappeared a few years ago.

  13. You do a great job of leaving a feeling of dread, a lilac scented ghost?

    1. The lilac detail helps to bring the scene to life, eh?

  14. Oh gosh. That invoked quite the frightening image of undead slinking into bedrooms at night. Did I mention how much of a scaredy cat I am? No? Damn.

    Great snippet, btw! XD

    1. Funny you should mention scaredy cat, because Dusty cat has totally freaked out about the vision’s appearance — and that is an important plot point.

  15. I hope it’s a ghost and not a walking corpse, scented with grave flowers. Either way is dang creepy. Nicely described!

    1. Thanks for the kind words, Caitlin.

  16. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    That gave me a chill.nicely done.

    1. I live in Arizona, so giving someone a chill seems strange. It should be a hot flash, instead.

  17. And he smells like lilacs. Whatever is she in for here?? Great details.

    1. Tune in next week to find out.

  18. Fantastic creepy scene! Goosebumps material. Ed. 😉

    1. It’s a privilege to have creeped you out, Teresa.

  19. Fascinating, terrifying, visceral. Definitely pulling me in. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here. Is this man really Juan?

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