Effing Feline, NaNoWriMo #3


Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, the Most Literary Cat in the Entire Universe (c), am continuing from last week’s snippet from the WIP by my pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine.

The heroine, Dusty, works as a tech writer on a top secret interstellar spaceship prototype. She and Reese, an alien from an alternate Earth and the project’s leader, have been kidnapped — and one of the kidnappers is a coworker named Capricorn Lane.  Cappy for short.

Cappy raised her chin and gazed casually at the men with guns.  “I’ll make sure you’re safe, as long as you don’t do anything stupid.”

Did Cappy really think she was dense enough to believe that?  They’d seen the kidnappers’ faces, and the Americans, at least, would care about that.  She and Reese were dead men walking.

Looking at the woman’s smirk of triumph, Dusty realized that yes, Cappy believed she was more intelligent than everyone else.  Which was absurd.  She was intelligent, of course, or she wouldn’t have been selected from thousands of applicants, but the Wiki project was the Big Leagues of brains.  Compared to world-class geniuses, she was a pea in a pumpkin patch—and yet if she pulled off this crime, she’d undoubtedly feel she’d outsmarted them all.

Effing Feline again.

Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.

Alien Contact for Heroines will be Book 4 in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. Book 3 is currently with beta readers.

  • Alien Contact for Idiots
    What’s a woman gonna do when she’s quarantined for three weeks with an Out-of-this-World alien?
  • Alien Contact for Kid Sisters
    Fleeing bloodthirsty rebels, the queen’s sister finds a hero to save her … or is he kidnapping her, instead?


  1. I love the look into her inner thoughts in the last paragraph, particularly the feeling about being a pea in a pumpkin patch.

    1. When I wrote that line I thought it seemed like I’d heard it before, but I googled it and found no matches.

  2. Excellent snippet-as always Ed. You get Cappy’s attitude down! Enough for me to hope the smugness is knocked right out of her.

    1. Oh yes, it will be. Her triumph is short lived.

  3. Well, you have to admire confidence. Good for you, Cappy!

    1. Good for Cappy? But, but … she’s a villain!

  4. I like the way you’ve threaded the menace into it.

    1. Thank you! Usually people comment something like ‘Funny passage’, even if I’m aiming for menace.

  5. Go Cappy Go. Even if you get everyone killed. I do believe I love her.

    1. Oh no! I’ve made my villain too likable.

  6. Oooh, now I want to see Cappy taken down a notch or five!

    1. She will be, she will be.

  7. nancygideon · · Reply

    “Big League of brains”! I love your way with words, Ed! Hope you and Effing had a great holiday.

    1. The one thing I worried about that line was that it’s a US-specific baseball reference. A couple years ago in an alternate-history story, I included a reference to the irony of a battle taking place at Gettysburg, and my Canadian editor said “I don’t understand this.”

  8. Wonder how far Cappy’s brains will get her. Also, I love that name. Cappy. It’s awesome. 🙂

    1. It’s short for Capricorn. Her parents were hippies, and she’s reacted against that by being super-materialistic.

  9. I’m really curious as to what this big crime might be. You’ve created an interesting villain, to be sure.

  10. I presume they’re after the prototype ship. Your snippet certainly makes the reader want to outwit the”brains”.

    1. Well, my heroine is even smarter than Cappy. For me, that’s the trait I always build into my heroines. It’s more important than their looks.

  11. I love the phrase about the pea in the pumpkin patch. And Cappy is one of the insufferable people, I can tell, so I love that she’s undoubtedly going to get her comeuppance soon. Loving the story, another great excerpt.

    1. In writing her I feel a bit bad, because I picture her as a former coworker of mine who was unfailingly sweet. But Karen will never know, so — oops! her name slipped out. Good thing I have several former coworkers named Karen.

  12. daezarkian · · Reply

    Effing, tell Ed his prose is perfectly paced and incredibly entertaining.

    1. ??? The cat meowed something at me, but I’m not sure what he meant. Asking for food, maybe?

  13. You don’t necessarily have to be smarter than someone to fool them–that kind of lie is the sort people want to believe. But I’m rooting for the hero to outwit the villain!

    1. Without writing any spoilers, let me just say I don’t write stories where the bad guys win.

  14. Ah, I do wonder whether the profiling of Cappy is correct, and if so, I’m thinking the pea is headed for a long roll off a high cliff. Nice details in the description here!

  15. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Love Cappy’s inner thoughts on the situation. You do have a way with words. “…a pea in a pumpkin patch.” Love that line.

    1. Feel free to use it sometime in your own writing, Karen.

  16. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    A pea in a pumpkin patch. Love it.

    1. My inner gardener, frustrated since I moved to Arizona, peeped (peaped?) out in this line.

  17. Pea in a pumpkin patch – absolutely awesome description

  18. Pea in a pumpkin patch gets me too. 🙂 Somehow I think Dusty will win in the end!

    1. You think this perhaps because I write commercial fiction that always has upbeat endings?

  19. Haha! “…pea in a pumpkin patch.” Nice! Interesting snippet, Mr V. 🙂 No post again for me this week.

    1. I get the impression it’s unanimous about pea in a pumpkin patch.

  20. Inner sass is always awesome to read, particularly when they’ve got metaphors thrown in! Great snippet.

    1. I have to admit, I love writing (or reading) a good metaphor.

  21. Fantastic snippet, Ed. I am really getting into your story. I love your description of Cappy’s arrogance. Excited to tune it next week for sure!

    1. After a big push like NaNo, I realize all the things I should’ve put into previous sections. In Cappy’s case, she needs more page time prior to being revealed as a villain, so I’ve added that to my to-do list for a second draft. My first drafts are always so very far from perfect.

  22. chellecordero · · Reply

    Many losses come from thinking you’re smarter than everyone else and underestimating your opponent – I do believe that Cappy will learn that soon enough, and Dusty just may be the one to teach her.

  23. Am I the only one that sympathizes mostly with Cappy?
    Off to my own little corner then.

    Excellent snippet!

    1. But … but … Cappy’s the evil villain!

      1. What can I say? I have a soft spot for the baddies. They’re very rarely understood.

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