Effing Feline suggests scratching

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, the Most Literary Cat in the Entire Universe, proudly present another snippet from The Trial of Tompa Lee, by my pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine.

This scene follows soon after last week’s snippet, in which Tompa Lee violently refused help from Dante Roussel, the Space Navy policeman who disobeyed orders to come to her aid in a trial by combat. Dante has studied satellite photos of the island, and tries to tell her the best way to escape the 300 accusers who want to kill her.

Dante watched Tompa and the Shon head upstream. She didn’t want his help and he suspected she wouldn’t use the directions he’d given her. “Remember, take the tributary on the left, and when you get to the collapsed bridge, follow the road toward the volcano.”

Without missing a step, she glared at him over her shoulder and said, “Screw you.”

“Once the road starts to climb the mountain, it gets narrow. The Shons can’t overwhelm you with sheer numbers the way they can down here. Please believe me, there’s no other place where the topography works so much in your favor.”

She picked up a fist-sized rock and threw it. He didn’t bother to duck; she threw like a girl, and the rock thudded to the ground ten feet in front of him. A small cloud of dust marked its landing, a pitiful echo of the mushroom cloud she undoubtedly would have preferred.

I’d thought Tompa was smart, but this proves she’s as dumb as most human beings (i.e., really dumb). Any cat could tell her to scratch, not throw!

Speaking of intelligent cats, check out the weekly humor from my cousin Smardy Kat.

Smardy Kat

And finally, make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.

<<  ===  >>

B-Trial paperback

The first book in The Trilogy of Tompa Lee is free. Yes, FREE!

Some of the Five Star Amazon reviews of The Trial of Tompa Lee:

“…superbly written, well-paced Science Fiction”

“…lots of actions, thrills, suspense and drama. It is riveting right through to the end.”

“Another one I couldn’t put down. It is 7:30 in the morning. Read this in one sitting.”

“…a must read – I was so drawn in that I couldn’t stop reading this story of Tompa Lee until it was over.”


  1. Oh dear, Tompa! Take the advice!
    (but I guess there would be no story if she did that all the time 😌)

    1. Even if Tompa doesn’t want to take Dante’s advice, Awmit (the Shon) might, thus setting up a nice little conflict between her and her new friend.

  2. chellecordero · · Reply

    Stubborn to a fault… and I guess he’ll have to (try to) come to her aid again.

    1. Stubborn, yes, but I haven’t shared any of the backstory about Tompa’s horrible past experiences with policemen while growing up on New York’s streets. In context her stubbornness makes sense, I hope.

  3. Love that “Screw you.” Tompa is one feisty character. Great scene.

    1. Being a street girl, Tompa has a potty mouth.

  4. Humor abounds this weekend – I liked the line: “…a pitiful echo of the mushroom cloud she undoubtedly would have preferred.”

    1. Exaggeration works wonders for humor.

  5. Really liked this, how he just kept going despite her outburst. 😉

    1. These two are a good case of an irresistible force (Tompa) meeting an immovable object (Dante).

  6. Love the line – threw like a girl – a simple but clear visual – that I sadly admit to throwing that way – blush blush. Great snippet.

    1. You and Charmaine (see below) have different thoughts about how women throw.

  7. I throw like a girl…cant lie. LOL. So I especially love the descriptive way you wrote this scene. it hit all the right notes.

    1. I wonder if my being a musician helps me hit the right notes?

  8. After Tompa’s general bad-assery, I did NOT expect her to throw like a girl. Though as a fellow girl-like-thrower, I’m pleased she does.

    1. She’s a dirty fighter with the steely determination to survive no matter what–but she’s not necessarily an athlete.

  9. As a former pro ball player, do not disparage women throwers. I had to quit my profession due to a hang nail, more’s the pity. Wonderful snippet, Ed. She’s cursing while he’s playing GPS.

    1. As a guy who tore his rotator cuff playing ball in college, I salute your reaching the pros. I found out about the rotator cuff years later; all I knew at the time was that it was too painful to throw. Now I have arthritis in that shoulder.

  10. Does she really throw like a girl? Didn’t she learn to shoot accurately?

    1. You have to remember that this is Dante’s point of view; he expects her to throw like a girl.

  11. That she throws like a girl does not bode well for her.

    1. Everyone has a hole in their arsenal.

  12. LOL…guess she’s not big on taking advice! Love the characterization in this snippet. Well done.

    1. I think pig-headed is a good adjective to describe Tompa…although she opens up to Awmit tremendously once she trusts him. Trust is her biggest issue.

  13. I love that he doesn’t even bother to duck. But if that were me chucking rocks, I’d be really angry about that (admittedly accurate) commentary on my skills!

    1. This is similar to when he didn’t bother to zigzag when he thought the Navy might shoot him for disobeying orders to help Tompa. He has some issues of his own, though they aren’t clear until the end..

  14. This was my favorite phrase: “a pitiful echo of the mushroom cloud.” I can’t wait to hear her reaction to his non-reaction…

    1. I wrote that quite a while ago, so looking at it with fresh eyes … yeah, it is pretty cool.

  15. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    Feisty and stubborn! Great characterization.

    1. Yes, Elaine, that about sums up Tompa … at this stage in her personal journey, that is.

  16. Mushroom cloud, indeed. Nice description!

    1. All the thanks go to Dante, who is thinking the phrase.

  17. I suspect that encounter isn’t finished.

    1. Yep. There are 150 pages to go until she accepts him.

  18. I hear what you’re saying about her backstory and life experiences but she’s starting to annoy me, not willing to listen to what he says at ALL. I’m sure the further developments in the story will resolve all these issues though. Excellent snippet – this reader is invested in Tompa!

    1. I’m sure Dante finds her annoying, too.

  19. Love that last line! very poetic!

    1. Yeah, it’s a very poetic mushroom cloud.

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