Effing Feline introduces his cousin

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf

In my supra-human wisdom, I, Effing Feline, have chosen another snippet from Ed Hoornaert’s The Trial of Tompa Lee.  It follows soon after last week’s snippet, in which Tompa attacks Dante Roussel after he disobeyed orders to come to her aid in a trial by combat. As a street person, she has serious issues with police.

The one Shon who supports her, Awmit, tries to help her fight Dante, and we learn of her feelings for the old Shon.

“This one races supportively, graceful human,” Awmit called from the cliff.

When Roussel tripped, his eyes met hers, and the damned asshole didn’t even have the grace to look terrified—just resigned and sad. She raised the club.

An inhuman shriek stopped her — Awmit had lost his grip and fallen down the cliff.

Tompa ran toward him, but as she neared the motionless body of her friend, she slowed to a fearful walk and whispered, “Awmit?”

He let out a whistling groan. The wrinkled, grey membranes that covered his eyes fluttered as though trying to open.

“You’re alive,” she whispered; she hadn’t expected that, she really hadn’t. “Is anything broken?”

“Pride,” he said, eyes still closed, “shattered ingloriously.”

Effing Feline here again. What kind of stupid creature hurts himself when falling? Why didn’t Awmit just land on his feet? Dumb of him.

BTW, my cousin Smardy Kat, has a new weekly gig on this blog. Check her out.

Smardy Kat

Finally, make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.

B-Trial paperback

The first book in The Trilogy of Tompa Lee is free. Yes, FREE!

The Trial of Tompa Lee is reminiscent of the best of classic Star Trek.  – TheBestReviews.com

Ed Hoornaert is a marvelous writer: a terrific, engrossing storyteller and a consummate stylist.  – Robert J. Sawyer, Hugo-Award winning author

Hold a tissue ready, as Mr. Hoornaert knows how to squeeze the heart of the reader.  – Love Romances

Advertisements

32 comments

  1. What a vivid picture this piece creates in my mind! I love the Shon take on English. Nicely done Ed, thank you for sharing.

    1. I had loads of fun with how the translation devices render the Shon language.

  2. I loved the line, “…but as she neared the motionless body of her friend, she slowed to a fearful walk and whispered, “Amwit?” That really nails her emotional connection to him, IMHO. Nice writing, Ed.

    1. The poor girl hasn’t had a friend in so long. She deserves one in Awmit.

  3. nancygideon · · Reply

    Love it, Ed! Your snippets and the dialogue always make me smile. And then, of course, there’s my fondness for Effing.

    1. And Effing loves you, too … especially if you have a chunk of salmon in your hands.

  4. Just wonderful. You, your writing, and Effing. So damn much fun.

    1. Thanks, Charmaine. Writing these things is fun, too.

  5. What fun – shattered pride and Smardy Kat

    1. Awmit is a retired roofer, and though it never comes out in the books, I imagine him as an unlicensed contractor and not terribly good at his trade. However, he knows how to fall so he doesn’t injure himself.

  6. “shattered ingloriously.” Marvelous choice of words, Ed. 🙂 Nice writing!

    1. At one point I worked out a ‘translation aide’ for converting English into Shonese. It involved an adverb for every verb, and lots of use of Word’s thesaurus.

  7. Haha, that last line. It’s true- shattered pride is worse than broken bones! Welcome Smardy Kat! Not that she requires human approval, of course.

    1. You’re right about Smardy Kat. Or any cat. They need food, not approval.

  8. I loved Awmit’s answer! This is a terrific excerpt, full of action, can’t wait for more.

    1. Thanks as always, Veronica.

  9. Love the tweak on the ‘nothing hurt but my pride’ line. Some things we have in common across species!

    1. Thanks for noticing. Twisting words and phrases so they sound different is a big part of ‘Shon speak’.

  10. Love the last line

    I can see why a cat would wonder why he didn’t just land on his feet.

    1. Not only that, though — Effing’s disdain now extends to alien species, and not just humans!

  11. Not terrified, huh? Shame on him! I’m loving this story.

    1. His response is a piece with how he fled the navy, giving them a clear shot at his back. He realizes how long are the odds he’ll manage to do anything that will really help — and he has issue of his own to work through.

  12. ““Pride,” he said, eyes still closed, “shattered ingloriously.”” Love that.

    1. Thanks, Rob. A lot of the feedback I’ve gotten on this book remarks on how readers enjoyed Shon-speak.

  13. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    This is cute. I’m enjoying these snippets.

    1. Good. Shons are supposed to be cute.

  14. LOVE the last line.

  15. chellecordero · · Reply

    “Pride,” he said, eyes still closed, “shattered ingloriously.”…
    there are days I’ve felt like that.
    Great line, great snippet.
    Love the way you postponed the potentially fatal blow to Roussel

    1. I had to postpone it somehow. Roussel has a lot more to do in this book, and in the rest of the trilogy.

  16. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    So much fun. Loved Awmit’s answer. 🙂 I always enjoy your snippets.

    1. I appreciate you stopping by so faithfully, Karen!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: