Effing Feline is one smart cart

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, have figured out something about today’s snippet.

In Mr V’s WIP, Alien Contact: Becoming Human, the following ten sentences state the heroine’ self-doubt and internal conflict. Furthermore, her decision to detour for pleasure leads to all her troubles, and I believe that’s called an inciting incident.Smartie cat

I am one smart cart.  I mean, cat.  I’m one smart cat.

Background: Our unnamed heroine, mere minutes after being born fully grown and well armed, marches in a straight line toward her Destiny.  Then she comes to a tree blocking her path.

I would have to detour around the tree.  Although it irked my sense of right and wrong, the route to my Destiny could not follow a straight line.

I pondered this realization, which seemed obvious as soon as I thought about it—the first piece of wisdom I’d ever learned.  Was I, then, intelligent?

More importantly, if I must detour out of necessity, would it be acceptable to detour—briefly, briefly—for pleasure?  Dare I savor this magnificent cedar, for example, or the stream that gurgled unseen off to the right?

My mind insisted I should pursue Destiny with no deviation, like an arrow shooting to its target, but I wasn’t an arrow of wood and feathers; I was a human being of flesh and blood.

Wasn’t I?

I pondered that for a massive time—seventy-four-point-eight seconds—but was unable to decide about my humanity.  Insufficient data.

Effing Feline again. That hat looks good on me, though not as good as last fortnight’s horns.

Be sure to check out the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.

This snippet is taken from what will be the third book in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. The other books (already available) are:

Be sure to check out Weekend Writing Warrior Amy Braun’s reviews here and here, respectively.

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29 comments

  1. chellecordero · · Reply

    I love the little bits of uncertainty she’s having, it adds a humanesque quality to what otherwise might appear robotic. Pondering for seventy-four-point-eight seconds, dynamite line! Great snippet.

    1. Thanks, Chelle. That’s exactly the impression I want to give–the first glimmer of humanity in a rather robotic personality.

  2. I agree with Chelle, Ed. She’s becoming human. And I love it that Effing is studying story structure. 😀😀😀 One of my favorite topics.

    1. And here I thought he was just snoozing atop my craft books–didn’t know he was reading them. Hopefully you know more than he does, though!

  3. I love the internal dialogue, Ed.

  4. Love the process of her becoming sentient. BTW, your link on the Wewriwa page didn’t work.

    1. Thanks for the heads up, Cara. The link seems to be working now.

  5. I’m really curious as to where her data is coming from. What a great character!

    1. She’s obviously a bit more–more less-than human.

  6. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Wonderful inner thoughts as she tries to figure out what she is. Chelle was spot on. I also love the line: “I pondered that for a massive time—seventy-four-point-eight seconds…” Great snippet.

    1. Thanks, Karen!

  7. Really enjoying this! The cedar….or the stream….? Just a great snippet.

    1. One of the reasons I mention the species of tree is to establish that she’s on Earth. Subtle, that’s the word’s double duty.

  8. Nicely done. Definitely adds to the characterization, making one wonder whether she will take the “human” path of deviating to enjoy nature.

  9. I’m uncertain about her too.

    1. Rose and Aurora, your uncertainty about what the heroine will chose is exactly what I hope readers will feel. Thanks!

  10. Oh, no, not a path deviation! It can end badly, like for little Red in Into the Woods… 😉 I think this lady is made of tougher stuff, though.

    1. Since when is a heroine’s path ever straight and clear?

  11. Insufficient data! wonderful, as always, very clever Ed!

    1. The idea is to get readers wondering what, exactly, she is.

  12. I love this! Great job!

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Allyson.

      1. You’re welcome!

  13. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    She’s certainly changing, although I think she’s still a tough one.

    1. I like this reaction!

  14. I love the parts where we get into the character’s head and the voice of this story.

    1. I’m finding it a challenge to keep such an off-kilter voice going throughout the novel. I hope I succeed.

  15. Love it, Ed. Discovering destiny and humanity through brand new eyes via your heroine.

    1. Thanks, Nancy. It’s a hard question to answer, though–what does it mean to be human?

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