Effing Feline, Jailbird

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, am a jailbird.

That word makes me hissing mad. I’m not a bird!

Cat in jailRemember last week when I gave up trying to be good and let my true self out to play?  Well, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr. Valentine, busted me for it. So now I’m forced to behave again.

Today’s snippet continues the opening of Mr. V’s WIP, Alien Contact: Becoming Human. Last week, our mysterious heroine was trapped in a dense forest, on a slab of granite surrounded by thick prickles. A jailbreak is the first test of her worthiness for glory and Destiny.

I leaped up and over the jail wall.  Angry at my escape, a branch spanked my bottom.  I flew for nearly as long as I’d been alive, because the forest floor lay three-point-one meters down.

I uncurled, spread my arms, landed on my feet; for a moment I waited, not knowing what to expect.  Would the ground hold me?  Swallow me?  Spank me?

But nothing happened, because I’d landed perfectly.  Pride blossomed.

Effing Jailbird Feline again.  Be sure to check out the snippets by great weekend writing warriors, who share 8 to 10 sentences each Sunday. Click the link below to join the mob with your writing.

PS — Ed here. I did not put Effing in jail. He had to go to the vet, which meant all of ten minutes in a cat carrier. Talk about overreacting!



  1. chellecordero · · Reply

    Very vivid description. I like the analogy to flying rather than jumping or falling over the jail wall.

    1. Thanks, Chelle. Whatever innate talent I have is for wordsmithing; storytelling and character building come harder to me.

  2. Poor Effing! Cause and effect are inescapable 😉
    Good job, Ed! I love how casually you describe the feat.

    1. Poor Effing? He can always find something that makes him appear to be ‘poor Effing’.

  3. Such a cute scene! Love the perfect landing. 😉

  4. I guess whether Effing over-reacted to his brief-according-to-you imprisonment is all a matter of perspective…

    I’m reasonable sure that human and feline perspectives are often incompatible!

    I think I’m in love with your unlikely heroine. For sure, I’m enjoying the way she thinks!

    1. It’s good to hear that you like my newborn heroine. It’s hard to give her a ‘save the cat’ moment when she’s alone in the forest.

      1. Cats often go into forests….just saying…. =)

        Anyway, I do think her moments are coming…otherwise, she wouldn’t have much of a story, and I can already sense that she does.

      2. Although the readers don’t know it yet, this is a North Pacific coast rainforest. The only cat she’s likely to run into there would be a cougar…and how does one go about saving a cougar? (You know, there might be a story in that. Hmm.)

  5. You certainly make me curious about your heroine. She seems to have a little spanking thing going on. LOL. That’s not a bad thing

    1. But it’s the PLANTS that do the spanking!

  6. Effing: You don’t look good in stripes. Try not to be such a prima-donna.

    Ed: I’m glad she got out of jail with that leap. Question is, what’s gonna happen now?

    1. What’s gonna happen now? Stay tuned to find out.

  7. Absolutely wonderful, Ed. Now bye bye. I’m going to the beach. Love, C

    1. I can’t compete with the beach, so have a good day.

  8. A small step for who or what?

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Aurora.

  9. A perfect landing always saves the day LOL. Nice, visual depiction.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Rose!

  10. I enjoyed this snippet, great fun and love the ‘voice!’

    1. Thanks. The heroine (readers still haven’t learned her name yet) is quite athletic for a newborn.

  11. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    Thanks feline one for a nice excerpt.

    1. Effing thanks you for reading it.

  12. Spanking twice in one snippet? Naught naughty. I love the cat’s POV here! Can’t wait for more adventures…

    1. Ordinarily spanking isn’t my thing…

  13. It was a beautifully executed jump, I had no doubt the landing would end purrfectly! Great snippet. 😀

    1. The tale is told in the first person, so I guess you could assume she didn’t break her neck.

  14. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Love the 10 Point landing she managed. Vivid scene.
    Just wondering how much spanking will go on? lol Enjoyed the snippet!

    1. Actually, no more spanking. Not my thing.

  15. A perfect landing and some cat pride- exactly how it would happen.

    1. Some cats pride is unwarranted…

  16. Landed on his feet- just another normal 3.1 meter drop!

    1. Hey, I could do that too. ‘Course, all my leg bones would break and I’d scream with pain. Details, details.

  17. Are the trees sentient? Because that would be a complication. This narrator isn’t terribly reliable, so I’m not sure…

    1. Well, she does feel a sort of psychic connection to the trees.

  18. You’ve created quite the interesting character. I wonder if this world is ready for her.

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