Effing Feline Behaves Himself

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, am on my best behavior. There should be a halo on my picture!

The snippet I’ve chosen in my feline wisdom is the opening of Mr. Hoornaert’s current WIP. In cat talk–and, I suppose, writer talk–WIP stands for Work In Progress. Mr. Valentine tentatively calls it Alien Contact: Becoming Human, but I think he needs to fit the word ‘cat’ into the title. If he does, bestseller guaranteed.

I was born.

One moment I didn’t exist and had never existed and then, blink, I stood in a clearing, fully dressed, well armed, and impatient to tackle my Destiny.

Like a magnet seeking north, I knew my Destiny lay downhill and to my left. I stepped toward it—baby’s first step—and nearly tripped on uneven rocks. I crouched and then rose slowly, arms outstretched for balance.

“Careful,” I whispered—baby’s first word, spoken in a creamy soprano that pleased my ears.

I looked around, which I should have done before taking a step. How could I kill if I couldn’t even walk?

Effing Feline here again. Those of you who follow my posts might be expecting me to say something snarky, but I told you, I’m on my best behavior. Check out of the snippets by other weekend writing warriors. Some of them might be smart enough to use ‘cat’ in their titles, unlike one stupid person I know.Cat halo

(Oh no!  ‘Stupid person’ just slipped out. I almost made it through the post without being snarky. I still deserve a halo, don’t you think?)




  1. Wow! I really like this snippet, it’s deep. Way to pull us in!

    1. Thanks! I’m particularly pleased with the hook for this book.

  2. My fantasy exposed. How to get past all the messy “growing up bits” in 8 or so sentences. Love the intro. I especially liked the ‘creamy soprano”!
    Effing, be nice!

    1. The ‘soprano’ phrase is there solely to let readers know the protag is female. I added creamy because she consistently shows a childlike delight in the world, even if she is a female equivalent of Arnold in Terminator, sent to Earth to kill.

  3. Yesterday was #InternationalCatDay on Twitter – you could have cut Effing Feline a break just once – he works so hard every week!
    As for the snippet, I loved it. It felt like I was in her skin, Ed. Can’t wait to read more.
    P.S. I love Alien Contact for Kid Sisters!!

    1. Thanks much for the Amazon review, Paula!

  4. Not a good sign if baby is born to kill.

    1. Some babies are born demons, ya know?

  5. A WOW beginning with a scare factor. A few words brings the reader right into a different world where anything may happen.

    1. Thanks, Charmaine.

  6. WOW! Tell me MORE!! Fabulous opening that would definitely have me reading on!

    1. Now if I can just maintain the tension till the end.

  7. Very interesting way to begin a story. I liked the combination of naive newness and innate knowing your character possesses. Great excerpt!

    1. You’ve put your finger on the traits that define my protagonist: naivete and inbred certainties.

  8. Awesome! What a hook!

    1. Thanks, and glad you could stop by.

  9. Love it! I was drawn right in. Great hook

    1. I have to admit, I love it too. According to some writing ‘experts’ that means I should delete it, right? I believe I’ve read the phrase, ‘kill your babies’. Since the protag is a ‘baby’, then I’d have no story!

  10. Great opening! It raises so many interesting questions.

    1. That’s what I was hoping, Carrie-Anne.

  11. chellecordero · · Reply

    The analogy to birth is fantastic! Such a nice, captivating snippet.

    1. I’m about a third of the way through the second draft, and one of my goals for the rewrite is to make birth into a symbol. A retired nurse who appears later will be in obstetrics. Another minor character will be pregnant. And I have a zinger for the very end of the book.

  12. Nice last line. It’s a good question. Baby steps–walking, then killing.

    1. Her ‘Destiny’ is such a major part of her personality that I figured I needed to hint at it at the top, though we don’t learn details of what that destiny is until the end of the chapter.

  13. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    That’s an attention grabber!

    1. Oh, good. Openings are so important. And so hard.

  14. Love that opening line! the entire snippet just kept reeling me in. Excellent, Ed!

    Effing is so much more fun when he’s not worried about best behavior… lol

    1. “Effing is so much more fun when he’s not worried about best behavior” — Aren’t we all, Teresa?

  15. Holy smokes, Ed! This is such a powerful opening! Very much enjoyed reading it, and the snarky cat commentary didn’t hurt, either. 😀 Well done!

    1. I have to disagree, Evelyn: snarky cats CAN hurt. Those claws…

  16. The last line is fabulous. Just leaves the reader wanting more.

    1. That’s what I was aiming for, of course!

  17. Right from the first 3 words this snippet catches the reader. Great job.

    1. TS Elliott said “Good writers borrow, great writers steal.” My first three words are stolen directly from the opening of David Copperfield, so does that mean I’m a great writer?

  18. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Wow, great introduction of a character! The first line had me intrigued and the last one even more so. Great job.

    1. Thanks very much, Karen.

  19. I’m hooked.

    1. Time to reel you in, then. Thanks for stopping by, Gem.

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