Okay, I admit it. This excerpt has absolutely nothing to do with either France or Bastille Day, the French national holiday — except for the July 14 date.  (But if you want to learn more about Bastille Day, click the picture below.)

The storming of the Bastille, July 14, 1789

I’m Edward Hoornaert, a multi-published author in several genres. I started out writing contemporary romances for Silhouette, so I’m also known as Mr. Valentine. Welcome to my blog.

This excerpt is from Alien Contact for Idiots, the first book in my Alien Contact series. Aliens have just landed — moved their whole danged homeland to the Pacific near Washington State. The handsome and flirtatious prince of Kwadra Island is trying to convince camera-shy Ell to film an interview with him … right after she called him a sex-fiend. He didn’t understand the idiom, luckily.

“Your vice president reports that your world fears Kwadra’s arrival,” Prince Tro said. “People panic, envisaging the end of the world, or war, or plague.”

“And me making a fool of myself in front of a TV camera is supposed to help?” Ell rubbed sweaty palms on her skirt as she popped to her feet, searching for a way out. There was none. “I’ll do anything else, but not this. I can’t.”

“You wish peace between our peoples, no?”

“More than anything, but—”

“Then you must do this thing.”

Hugging her arms, she paced around the long table. A memory of Alki Point Beach sprang to pungent life. The crowd had throbbed with terror and hostility, assuming an extraterrestrial invasion. So Tro was right, but still … her, on TV? She slipped off her shoes. The carpet was dappled with earth tones like a forest floor, and it soothed her. She finished the circuit in bare feet and then stopped beside Tro.

“Okay.” In case he didn’t understand this use of okay she added, “I’ll try.”

“Not merely try. Achieve!”

“You sound like Yoda,” she muttered.

“This Yoda is a wise man. Together, Ell, you and I can achieve anything.”

“Puppet.”

“Pardon?”

“Yoda is a puppet, not a wise man.”

Grinning, Tro put a hand on the small of her back to guide her toward the Arbutus Room. “My role is to reassure and seem friendly. Yours is to ask questions specified by your government and to look, they said, like the girl next door.”

“Girl next door, I can handle that. No, wait. Next door to old Mr. Applebaum the baker, or to an alien from another world? Huge difference.”

Tro chuckled as they climbed the stairs. “The girl who lives next door to me, Delfina, dislikes wearing clothes.”

“That’s what a sex fiend is.” Ell checked the pin holding the top of her blouse closed.

All my books have some humor, but For Idiots has a lighter tone than most.  It’s a bit of a romp, actually. It’s available a whole mess of places:

• Amazon
• Amazon Canada
• Amazon UK
• Amazon Australia
• Smashwords
• Barnes and Noble
• Kobo Books
• and worldwide in trade paperback

Thanks for dropping by — and sure to read other great excerpts by old and new favorite authors.