Effing Feline 04-26-15

Space cat-8 sentence

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short. Effing writes these Eight Sentence Sunday posts on Mr. Hoornaert’s behalf

I, Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, am a soldier model, with built-in weapons and a nasty attitude!

Unfortunately, I can’t prove it, as I’ve never actually caught and killed anything.  Mr. V., aka Edward Hoornaert, has no mice in his house, and I’m not allowed outside to hunt birds even though Southern Arizona hosts the largest number of bird species outside of the Amazon basin.  It’s not fair!

You’ll see the significance of ‘soldier model’ in this snippet from Escapee, which will be published early next year.  Catt, the civilian pilot of a supply airship, has just landed at Castle Mountain fortress, destroyed by an enemy attack.  Here she talks with Lancelot, her android co-pilot.

Whenever fear and hopelessness threatened to overwhelm her, Catt responded by keeping busy, and now she concentrated on guiding Escapee to its softest landing ever. That wasn’t easy, because the wind had resumed its usual howl, a ruined crawler blocked the center of the landing pad, and the northwest quadrant of the pad was blasted to rubbish.

When the ship was down, she scanned all radio frequencies, but static reigned instead of the usual greetings. At least no one ordered her, in nasal, almost incomprehensible Proximanian Basic, to come out with her hands up.

After Catt donned her bio-suit, she handed Lance the only weapons she could find: a carving knife and a heavy propane cylinder to use as a club. “If anyone other than me comes aboard, kill them.”

“Kill?” Lance dropped the ersatz weapons, which clattered to the hollow metal deck plates. “Killing is counter to manufacturer’s parameters, Catt — I am not a soldier model.”

Catt should’ve had me with her. I’d take care of all the #^@% enemy invaders with one claw tied behind my tail!  Grr hiss!

For more great snippets, check out the other posts for today’s Eight Sentence Sunday.



  1. Nothing like a recalcitrant robot to make your day 😎. I am really enjoying this story. Thank you Ed.

    1. At least it’s a _peaceful_ recalcitrant robot.

  2. daezarkian · · Reply

    Terrific snippet, Ed! I love your attention to details!

    1. Whoever said “Don’t sweat the small stuff” had no future as a novellst!

  3. Fascinating turn of events. She’s got her hands full with the robot. I think I’m in love.

    1. You’re in love with the android co-pilot? But…but…he’s the comic relief, not the hero!

  4. Great eight, Ed. Your description of their surroundings puts me right in the scene.

    1. Right in the middle of chaos and destruction, eh? Probably not your number one choice of places to visit on a peaceful Sunday!

  5. What? How can a Lancelot not be a soldier model? Catt should demand a refund. Or perhaps he’s a lover model, though he seems a bit by-the-book even for that. 🙂

    1. Not a lover model, just a co-pilot, which is all she can afford…although at one point he does display a suspicious knowledge of the going price for the services of ladies of the night.

      1. Well, I suppose that’s useful, should Catt ever have the erm, urge!

  6. oh oh. I hope he can get by his prime directive to help Catt

    1. That’d be nice…but have you ever tried to turn a toaster into a refrigerator?

  7. Can she tinker with the model specs?

    1. Later on in the book, she does indeed tinker with Lance’s electronics (or whatever made-up word I used), with disastrous results.

  8. How annoying for her. Trouble around every corner. Thankfully, she seems pretty darn competent.

    1. My heroines are always competent. At first they might not know how capable they are, but they do by the end.

  9. Thinking she should work on that robot’s programming in her spare time. Loved the description of the landing field…can’t wait for more! Terrific excerpt.

    1. I’m not so sure about that. Later on she does indeed tinker with Lance, with regrettable results. She’s a great pilot, but programmer? Nope.

  10. Not a soldier – right when she needs one. Nothing’s ever easy, is it? Great 8.

    1. Writers get to be really good at making things hard.

  11. Love the description of the devastation. I wonder why she’s landing there (wondering in a good way) and what awaits her. Great snippet.

    1. Looking for survivors, like the gallant rescuer she is. As for what awaits her, come back next week.

  12. Oh, tough situation for Catt to be stranded with a robot partner that can’t fight. Great scene description! 🙂

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Lorien!

  13. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    She’s brave, and it also sounds as if she’s on her own. No help from the robot. Nice tension.

    1. She’s very much on her own. As far as she knows, she’s the only one of the ‘good guys’ on this entire mining moon who isn’t either dead or a prisoner of war…unless, of course, she finds a survivor in the wreckage.

  14. I got a feeling that not having a soldier model will soon become a big issue. Nice snippet!

    1. Unless, of course, she happens upon a handsome captain who is the sole survivor of the destruction and thus doesn’t need Lance…

      1. I like the way you think. XD

  15. Wow, on my tbr, based on just this snippet. Not a soldier model? Ha! Time will tell. Great 8, Ed. 🙂

    1. High praise indeed, Teresa. Thanks!

  16. normandiea · · Reply

    This made me smile.

    1. Thanks for stopping by!

  17. You caught my attention right off the bat. Very relate-able, love the determination you show in your characters. Great eight!

    1. Thanks, Neva. I try (though I don’t always succeed) to create strong characters. Unless, of course, I want a weak character. 🙂

  18. chellecordero · · Reply

    just like a man, robot or not, can’t follow directions, lol.
    Seriously mind-boggling cute scene. great detail.

    1. If you think Lance is bad at following directions, wait until Catt meets the male lead character!

  19. Terrific snippet, Ed. Excellent character voice and nicely descriptive. I could see everything happening. Excellent.

    1. Thanks very much Joanne!

  20. Excellent visuals. I love your snippet

  21. Thanks for stopping by, Naomi!

  22. Wonderful snippet. I’m right there with Catt in the moment. Love Lance’s response;). Great 8.

  23. I love this excerpt Ed!!!!! It’s just . . . AWESOME!!!!

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Sara. Thanks for stopping by!

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