Effing Feline Types

Effing blushing

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline (Effing for short)

Oh meow Lord, this is so embarrassing that I’m blushing!

For several months now, I, Effing Feline, have been writing the 8 Sentence Sunday blog posts for Mr. Valentine, aka Edward Hoornaert. Well, you’ve undoubtedly seen the shocking pictures on 60 Minutes, the National Enquirer, NY Post, YouTube, etc–but in case you haven’t, Ed is determined to teach me a lesson.  He’s holding catnip just out of my reach to force me to display one of the scandalous pictures here. Oh, the shame of it!

Effings editorial staff

Picture courtesy DepositPhotos

Okay, so I don’t do my own typing for my Eight Sentence Sunday column. So what?  The bird hunts and pecks faster than I do, and he works for chicken feed!

Today’s excerpt (Yes, it was typed by the bird. Give me a break already!) is from Ed’s new science fiction romance, Alien Contact for Idiots. Heroine Ell is chatting with a Native American he-man from an alternate Earth, Prince Tro, about differences in the histories of their worlds.

A log in the fireplace crackled, as though sharing her disbelief, and a glowing ember exploded onto the grey ashes below the grate. After sitting on the same couch as Tro for half an hour without being able to touch him, she knew how the ember felt.

“You must be joking—no Albert Einstein in your Earth’s history?” Ell said.  “He was the greatest scientist since Newton.”

“My regrets for disappointing you,” Tro said, “but no.”

“I’m not sure I’d like your Earth, then. Einstein is my idol—I even have a poster of him on the ceiling over my bed.”

“Is he so handsome, then?”

“To a scientist like me, yes.”

Alien Contact for Idiots is available on Amazon. Be sure to visit the other writers who’ve posted snippets for eight sentence Sunday, too!

(Just got an IM. An Adoring Fan wants to know who the cat on the computer screen is. That’s my cousin Willie. The bird had tweeted him to ask if he ate the laptop’s mouse, which discerning viewers will have noticed is missing. You noticed it, didn’t you?)



  1. Lol, another fabulous snippet. I wonder if Tro will ever see a picture of Einstein;). Great 8.
    (And Effing Feline, if I could get a bird to type for me I’d do so as well;)

    1. Considering that Tro’s people can’t return to his home timeline, I’m sure he’ll learn about Einstein.

  2. I KNEW that feline wasn’t on the up and up! I agree with Ell- who wants a world without Einstein. That brain, that hair! 😻

    1. When I was young, my big sister told me Einstein’s hair was big because his brain was so very fertile. I believed her, too.

  3. The ember exploded etc. Totally delightful. You are a wonder.

    1. All those years of having fireplaces and WORRYING about exploding embers paid off.

  4. She is completely right of course! A world without Einstein?

    1. I debated about the Einstein detail. It serves to deepen Ell’s characterization, but Tro’s home timeline is technologically more advanced…and how did they get that way without Einstein’s insights? Removing Einstein implies that individuals matter less than does the discipline of science at a whole–in other words, if Einstein didn’t come up with his theories, someone else would. That was certainly the case with Watson and Crick’s discovery of the structure of DNA; they were in a race with Linus Pauling to finalize their results–so even if Watson hadn’t existed, his discoveries would have been made. (As you can perhaps tell, I occasionally waste time over-thinking insignificant little details.)

  5. I was placed right there. Great visuals. Love your snippet

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Naomi!

  6. There are so many things to love about Einstein. “The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.” (Einstein) A timely remark from a man who probably knew better than to file his own.

    Well-written excerpt, Ed. I love where this story is going. And give that bird a peck on the cheek from me. I think his typing is better than mine.

    1. OF COURSE the bird’s typing is exemplary. Wouldn’t yours be if your boss threatened to kill and devour you if you make a mistake?

  7. Nice! I love being inside her head–and his, of course. You’ve created a perfect clash of cultures in this story, Ed. 🙂

    1. In particular, it’s a perfect clash for Ell (wants to learn about Kwadra’s advanced science while falling in love while hoping to retain her scientific neutrality) and for Tro (who aims to seduce her into helping his outnumbered people adapt peaceful to their new Earth, but feels like he’s treating Ell horribly).

  8. Interesting about Einstein not being in their world. (Enjoyed your discussion in the comments about why this particular scene…) Quite thought provoking, great snippet!

    1. Unlike a lot of my stuff, this series is more romance than science fiction–but I still try to think through the scientific and cultural aspects of the story. Please note–that doesn’t mean I’m sure I get it right!

  9. This is why I love writing, we are able to create a new world for readers and you really show us here. Love the discussion, great visuals! Lovely eight!

    1. Thanks for visiting my world, Neva!

  10. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Loved the banter. And yes, Einstein would be very attractive to scientist. 🙂

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