Effing Feline Purrs

Space cat-8 sentence

Last week I, the peerless Fart-Fueled Flying Feline (Effing for short) was FURious. This week, I’m PURRious. (Both words are spelled this way in my Cat Dictionary. PURRious refers to a cat’s existential mindset while purring.)

I’ve been handling these Weekend Writing Warriors posts for Mr. Valentine (aka Edward Hoornaert) for awhile now–but after giving me complete editorial control for one week, he turned  right around and put me on a short leash. Leashes are for dogs!!!

Humbly seeking to correct his egregious mistake, Mr. V has given me my very own link. Scroll down to the CATegories along the right margin to find the link. I’ll be your cat doesn’t have a link. So there!

Now to less-important matters–eight more sentences from Mr. V’s new science fiction romance, Alien Contact for Idiots.

Seattle biologist Ell Harmon has been quarantined with Prince Tro Eaglesbrood, the leader of aliens who ‘hopped’ their entire  island nation from an alternate version of Earth. In the middle of the first night, Tro explores the luxurious quarantine site and finds more than he expected:

Having mastered the primitive light switch, Tro left the lights on to explore the kitchen.  He reached for carton covered with writing, but jerked his hand away when he heard a feminine cry, followed by a thump.

Across the pit, Ell had fallen head-down onto a couch. She faced away from him with her head and elbows tangled on the seat, and her legs flailed over the back of the couch, as though trying to perform a headstand. Her robe slipped down her thighs coyly … hesitated demurely … and then yielded to the law of gravity like the law-abiding garment it was.

She tried to right herself and pull the robe back in place, but accomplished neither, because one foot was caught on something and her head was wedged between two cushions.

The unexpected perfection of Ell’s buttocks froze Tro for several heartbeats before he rushed out to help. Averting his gaze from her exposed delights, he knelt and touched her arm. “Let me assist you.”

How would you feel in a situation like this? Want to find out how Ell reacts? Alien Contact for Idiots is available on Amazon.

Be sure to visit the other writers who’ve posted snippets for eight sentence Sunday.  And above all, click my link! Purr, purr.



  1. lolol! Fantastic writing voice you have, Mr Valentine! It was reading slapstick with a perfect visual! Great job going inside the alien’s head. 🙂

    1. As a guy, I agree this is a great visual. 😉 I’m glad a woman thinks so to. Their original meeting isn’t a meet cute, but this encounter sort of is

  2. You had me laughing here- what a great visual! Poor Ell. I foresee some good times ahead, once she recovers from her mortification.

    1. Heartache as well as great times, but yes, Ell has a busy future.

  3. Purrrfect, You are my funny furry Valentine, sir. Cracking up in NY.

    1. My ‘virtual cat’ thanks you, Charmaine. Unfortunately I’ve developed allergies to real cats, so Effing is the only cat I have.

  4. Oh no, I feel for Ell, but I also had to laugh. Great energy that jumps off the page.

    1. Ell had taken complete charge of their initial meeting (which also the first meeting between the two worlds), bossing around the army, citing the Outer Space Treaty of 1969, telling Tro what to do, demanding a quarantine site worthy of a foreign dignitary, etc. This, their second meeting, is totally OUT of her control, which only seems fair.

  5. I’m puzzled why she fell over a couch if he left the lights on. Leaving that practicality aside, the writing was delicious and I enjoyed the robe yielding to gravity. So well done!

    1. I hear you, Veronica, but sometimes eight sentences isn’t enough to include all the background. Thanks for stopping by!

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