Effing Feline Is Put on a Short Leash

Space cat-8 sentence

Meow  hiss merrow!

That’s Cat for I’m mad!

Last week Mr. Valentine (aka Edward Hoornaert) was busy and so gave me, Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, complete editorial control. He wasn’t happy about my spelling. He was particularly upset by “He ISnt’ not even goinna eddit mee.” I just don’t see the problem. You all understood what I meant, right?

Anyway, he’s put me on a short leash. And he’s gonna edit me again. As I said before, meow hiss merrow!

Here are eight more sentences from Mr. V’s new science fiction romance, Alien Contact for Idiots.

Seattle biologist Ell Harmon has been quarantined with Prince Tro Eaglesbrood, the leader of aliens who ‘hopped’ their entire  island nation from an alternate version of Earth, and now they are going to broadcast an interview, hoping to sooth the world’s fears about the invaders from the future. Ell agrees to do the broadcast, even though she feel inadequate because she’s a scientist, not a TV personality:

“Okay.” In case he didn’t understand, Ell added, “I’ll try.”

“Not merely try, achieve.”

“You sound like Yoda,” she muttered.

“This Yoda is a wise man,” Tro said, “and together, we can do anything.”

“He’s a puppet.”


“A puppet; Yoda is just a darned puppet.”

Us cats hate leashes. They’re for lower life forms. You know, like dogs.

[I’m inserting this in the middle of the night, one of the advantages of being nocturnal] Do me a favor–DON’T buy Alien Contact for Idiots. That’ll teach Mr. V!

But you can visit the other writers who’ve posted snippets for eight sentence Sunday. I’m not mad at them.

Hiss hiss meow merrow!



  1. Funny little snippet today.

    And I love your cat’s attitude. Do you really have a cat?

    1. Alas, Cara, I’ve developed an allergy to cats and for an asthmatic, that’s a real issue. When our last of several cats died seven months ago, we didn’t replace him. We still have a dog who is a sweetheart, but I’m a cat person.

  2. Like all creative geniuses FFF Feline has … Character. I LOVE Yoda.

    1. “Creative genius?” Kim, you’re going to make Effing’s ego swell so much his skull will explode.

      1. Oh no! We can’t have that! I take it back… Except for the bit about Yoda.

  3. Terrific fun snippet. So different coming from a wicked mind.
    Cats galore here. They run the house.

    1. You have to keep those cats on a short leash, Charmaine.

  4. A puppet Yoda is, hm? 🙂 This is a fun snippet.

  5. Love it I do, Patricia!

  6. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    I love the cat! Nice, fun snippet too.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Elaine. Effing appreciates it.

  7. Hahaha. I’m glad he’s not mad at the rest of the wewriwa participants.

    Very natural dialogue, Ed. And I like a good reference to pop culture in a story, especially when it’s infusing humor. Nicely done. 🙂

    1. In my far-future stories, popular culture is verboten, so I’d have to either leave out this bit of action or spend half a page explaining it. In some ways, near-future stories like this are much easier.

  8. Any mention of Yoda, and I’m sold. Funny snippet!

  9. A fun, interactive snippet. Nicely done!

    1. Thanks, Lorien. It isn’t always easier finding 8 consecutive sentences that make sense when taken out of context, is it?

  10. I can only echo the others – quite the fun snippet! Always happy to think about Yoda. Great 8!

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